LJ:xxdange (<-- tis my nickname)
Guess what I did... *drum roll* I just wrote my first fic ever, on O.C. fic! Yay...*peanut gallery cheers*. I want to share it with you guys! I hope you enjoy it...I would love to receive any criticism or words of love and encouragement. I am a big girl and can handle what you have to give me! Thanks!
Title: Listen To Me
Author: xxdange...tis me
Author's note: One-shot, Marissa-centric
Special Thanks: Thanks Kali for being the best beta ever!
Disclaimer: Moi...i own nothing...tis life i guess.
“Drinking is an escape into a world where everything is perfect because it slightly blurs all the negative
emotions and situations in my life. Why can’t you see that I am fragile at times? Why can’t you see that I
can’t handle the mess in my life because, through my eyes, my life is hell? Others might not see it but I
slowly try to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and soul but they seem to slip from my grasp
shattering even more… until it seems that I will never be able to place the millions of puzzle pieces
together. Why can’t you understand that? Do you honestly think that I purposely wake up in the morning and
say that I want to hurt those around me? You left me, Ryan. So the only way I know how to deal with that
is…by drinking. I didn’t ask you to be my knight in shining armor. I am sorry that I messed up your life.
I am sorry that I am not perfect. I am sorry that I do not know how to be. I need to accept that I am not
perfect. I need to accept that I messed up the only constant thing in my life, you. So right now I drink
so that I can blur my imperfections…maybe I can blur them enough to make them unrecognizable and I don’t
have to face them. So here I raise my glass to the imperfections and because you listened to me.” Marissa
raises the vodka bottle to a picture of Ryan as it slowly blurs in her vision.