xxdange (xxdange) wrote in ocships,

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Hey i just joined the community!

LJ:xxdange (<-- tis my nickname)

Guess what I did... *drum roll* I just wrote my first fic ever, on O.C. fic! Yay...*peanut gallery cheers*. I want to share it with you guys! I hope you enjoy it...I would love to receive any criticism or words of love and encouragement. I am a big girl and can handle what you have to give me! Thanks!

Title: Listen To Me
Author: xxdange...tis me
Rating: PG
Author's note: One-shot, Marissa-centric
Special Thanks: Thanks Kali for being the best beta ever!
Disclaimer: Moi...i own nothing...tis life i guess.


“Drinking is an escape into a world where everything is perfect because it slightly blurs all the negative

emotions and situations in my life. Why can’t you see that I am fragile at times? Why can’t you see that I

can’t handle the mess in my life because, through my eyes, my life is hell? Others might not see it but I

slowly try to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and soul but they seem to slip from my grasp

shattering even more… until it seems that I will never be able to place the millions of puzzle pieces

together. Why can’t you understand that? Do you honestly think that I purposely wake up in the morning and

say that I want to hurt those around me? You left me, Ryan. So the only way I know how to deal with that

is…by drinking. I didn’t ask you to be my knight in shining armor. I am sorry that I messed up your life.

I am sorry that I am not perfect. I am sorry that I do not know how to be. I need to accept that I am not

perfect. I need to accept that I messed up the only constant thing in my life, you. So right now I drink

so that I can blur my imperfections…maybe I can blur them enough to make them unrecognizable and I don’t

have to face them. So here I raise my glass to the imperfections and because you listened to me.” Marissa

raises the vodka bottle to a picture of Ryan as it slowly blurs in her vision.
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